Birthdays

Birthdays and I have a weird relation.

When I was in school, I was a loner and didn't have many friends. To top that, my birthday always arrived in the summer holidays. Consequently, I didn't get too many birthday wishes. My family, too, has no tradition of giving 'birthdays gifts', as such. They will wish you and prepare a delicacy, but they will not get you something you want or make your day special. They will still scold you or pick out your faults, stating the very fundamental reason: you're grown up now. When I was a kid, I used to throw a party for all the little friends in my building. I eagerly awaited the gifts they would get me...as those were the only ones I got in the whole year. They were usually repetitive: pencil cases, lunch boxes, colouring kits, and the occasional board game. When I turned twelve, I stopped throwing that one party. I got used to not celebrating my birthday. Not only mine, just anyone's birthday. I couldn't understand why it was so special to them, because it wasn't to me.

When I went into college, I'd just turned fifteen. The first few birthdays I came across made me feel insecure, wondering if there was anything wrong with me. Then I learned to be weird, to stand out. I refused my friends' offer to celebrate my birthday. I wasn't used to it; I wasn't comfortable with it. And yet, at 00.00 on April 19, I received so many calls and text messages that I was pleasantly surprised. Among them were some of my closest friends in college. From the crack of dawn, wishes started pouring in on Facebook. It felt nice to be wanted.

I'm still insecure; my family tradition still remains the same. If I want something, I have to ask. That's the rule. But I can't go out and ask for a gift. It makes me feel selfish. Gifts are given without asking for them. If you ask, then it isn't a gift anymore, is it? My friends make me feel loved though. And I love them in return.

I leave for Talegaon tomorrow. I shall be back by the 26th of this month. Till then, the blog is in Jai baba's hands.

Farewell to you all!